Rule One
by Aromene
Summary: After 900 years he’s still surprised.


**Disclaimer: Doctor Who is not mine, despite attempts to make it otherwise. David Tennant just will not cooperate! **

**AN: In reference to the quote in the **_**Empty Child**_**: "One of these days I'm going to meet someone who gets the 'don't wander off' thing".**

They've wandered off. Of _course_ they've wandered off. He should have known better than to figure that the Captain could keep Rose in line. That was like the blind leading the blind.

Still, he'd thought or rather he'd _hoped_ that between the two of them they might actually be able to visit somewhere that didn't end with jail cells or running for their lives…or both.

Clearly that had been too optimistic. He wouldn't be making the same mistake again. Of course, the idea that at least with Jack around Rose might actually be a bit safer than normal was not suitably calming him. In fact, some part of him was very sure that judging by the few stories Jack had regaled them with over dinner the night before; Rose was probably in even _more_ trouble than normal.

And considering what was normal, that was a Very Bad Thing.

He'd chosen Gurung, a habited moon relatively close to Earth (as distances went in the universe), knowing that it was safer than most places and that Rose might like a bit of light-hearted shopping and fun after the madness that was 1941. And for once he'd both landed in the right place and the right time.

So where'd they gone off to? The main market, covering an area roughly the side of Hyde Park, was a maze of small streets and back alleys, and truth be told they could be almost anywhere. And if they were indeed in trouble, he'd be wasting precious time searching the stalls. But the city beyond was even bigger, and the countryside beyond that, and this planet got its share of passing ships and freighters. They could be off world already and he would have no way of –

Hold on. Hadn't Rose recently chided him for, what was it, his lack of Spockness? Making a quick turn he retraced his footsteps to the TARDIS, absently noting there was still no sign of them.

'Alright, girl, we've an errant lady and her newest pretty boy to find. So let's see…' He ran a quick scan for Jack's wristband, hedging the bet that there wouldn't be any more wandering Time Agents around. The scanner beeped at him only a moment later. 'Gotcha.' The signal was coming in strong and about two miles away from any market stall whatsoever.

'She'll never learn,' he muttered to himself. Starting the dematerialization sequence he followed the signal south of the city to the edge of the deserted hills that formed this moon's version of the country.

He opened the door more cautiously then he usually did. There was nothing odd in his sightline so he took a quick look around. The buildings ended just to his left. He couldn't be more than a hundred feet or so from where Jack (or his wristband, but he was hoping for Jack) was.

The sudden crash followed by a loud bang of some type of weapon sent him racing down an alley between two ramshackled buildings. Turning sharply around the nearest corner he ran smack into Rose herself.

'Doctor!' she cried happily. 'Jack's in trouble!'

'Gathered that. You okay?' He glanced her up and down briefly, didn't see any noticeable injuries and turned sharply again as another bang rang out.

'How many?' he asked Rose. She was staring at the building behind her. 'Rose?!'

'Um, four, I think. That's all I saw. They had Jack pinned. He distracted them so I could –'

'It's alright. Stay here,' he pried himself out of her grip and pushed her behind him. Creeping towards the building the shots had come from he peered around the open doorway. Inside two men had Jack pinned awkwardly to the floor. A third was pointing a gun directly at his head. No sign of the fourth.

'Doctor –'

'Rose, I told you to stay back.' The situation was already turning badly, and knowing Rose she'd probably end up right in the sightline of the shooter within ten seconds flat. 'Please?'

She nodded, wide-eyed, but stepped back a few feet.

Jack's lip was split open and it was clear from the dirt streaking Rose's blue top that their captors clearly meant business. They might not have shot Jack yet, but he was probably more valuable alive. Though why they hadn't come after Rose…

'Suggest you stay right where you are, eh?' Right; the fourth one. The Doctor turned slowly around. Rose was staring down the barrel of a rather crude looking gun. The man grinned smugly.

'Found the girl!' he called inside to the others. 'And another man.'

Footsteps came up from behind. The Doctor glanced sideways to see the other gunman step out of the building. 'Come looking for your friends, did you? Wasn't a good idea, that.' He grinned, displaying a mouth containing only four front teeth.

'Wasn't a good idea to make me come looking, mate. But I can probably forgive you for that. These two were probably just _asking_ to be abducted,' he glance significantly at Rose. She flushed, but returned the glare. 'Still, I did come looking, and it's a good thing to. Don't suppose you'd tell me what you were planning on doing with them?'

'Oh, good market for stock like them. And you,' the leader sneered. With only four teeth it was a rather sickening sight. He heard Rose grimace behind him.

'Well, that is an idea, isn't it? I see a problem, though.'

'Yeah; what's that?'

'This 'stock' isn't willing.'

'Don't have to be, I figure. Besides, four of us, only two of you.' The Doctor grinned at that.

'Now you listen here, mate,' Rose started, clearly annoyed. 'You put that gun down and I'll show you 'only two'.' This produced a rousing laugh between the two men.

The leader quickly sobered. 'Get inside,' he motioned back to the house. Seeing as the gun was still pointed in the Doctor's general direction, he followed the lead, making sure Rose kept close behind him. Inside, Jack was now kneeling between the other two men.

'Hey, Doc, nice of you to join us. Just didn't feel like a proper party without you.' The man to his left wrenched Jack's shoulder back. The Captain bit back a pained cry.

'Wasn't looking for a party. Was looking for a nice, _quiet_, afternoon.' He gave both companions a significant glance. Jack smiled despite the pain.

'Where's the fun in that?' He winked at Rose and she smiled back at him. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

'I think you're all enjoying this a bit too much, yeah? Suppose to be captives. This ain't a party.'

'You're right: we're missing music. Can't have a party without music!' Jack declared. He didn't withhold the cry of pain this time. Rose winced in sympathy. The Doctor tried to warn Jack with just a glance that now was not the time for this sort of thing.

"Rule number one, didn't I say? I'm just talking to myself, aren't I?" The Doctor added.

Jack had the presence of mind to look at least a little bit guilty.

"It wasn't exactly wandering off if we're kidnapped, yeah?" Rose smiled sweetly despite the weapon still pointed in her general direction.

The Doctor seemed to give this a second of thought. "Yes! Ever notice how it's always you 'getting kidnapped, attacked, imprisoned, sacrificed' and all because you didn't do exactly what I said?"

"Not all those times were my fault!" She countered. "And you forgot 'forcibly married'."

"That was definitely not _my_ fault!"

"Hey, you didn't tell me 'bout that! You two get hitched?" Jack had perked up as much as was possible when one was being held between two burly men.

"No!" They both shouted.

"Oh. Well, that's not nearly as funny then."

"Enough of this squabbling! I have never heard so much talk that don't say 'nothin'. You'll be quiet, the lot of you, if you know what's good for you."

"Heard that before," the Doctor muttered loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

The man nearest to him backhanded him sharply across the cheek. The force was enough to send the Doctor stumbling back a step. Rose gave a sharp cry, but managed to withhold the no doubt intense desire to reciprocate. A bad idea, which a gun pointed at her head.

"Alright, I think that's enough," the Doctor's voice had taken on that calm tone that forbade bad things to come. "I think we've gone along with this little game a bit too long. If you'll release us, gentlemen, we'll be on our way, no charges pressed to the local constabulary."

They laughed. The Doctor looked mildly affronted that his tone hadn't conveyed what serious trouble the four men were really in. He glanced briefly at Jack; the barest nod letting the Captain know what was coming. Jack understood instantly, the Doctor could see it in his eyes, but then Time Agents problem got into these sorts of messes all the time.

"Think you'll be doing as we say, yeah? Prisoners ain't allowed to talk, so stuff if!" There was a moment of silence. The leader seemed to think this signified his orders would be followed and turned to talk to the man beside him whose gun, thankfully, was no longer pointed directly at Rose's head.

The next five seconds didn't even register in Rose's brain before they were over. She was aware that the Doctor moved, and then Jack moved, but by the time she had finished blinking two of the men were on the floor, unconscious it looked like, and Jack had another 'round the neck.

"Let him go, or I shoot!" The leader's clear voice rang out amid the struggles of the man Jack now held captive. Rose froze, because the gun he was threatening to shoot was aimed directly at the Doctor who stood but a foot away from its barrel. No chance of missing.

Jack didn't stop squeezing. The man's face was turning towards blue. "Yeah, and if I let him go, what makes you think I believe you won't shoot anyways? Don't exactly want to take your word on it."

"Well now, that be a mighty big problem, ain't it? Don't much matter to me what you go believing. But I will shoot if you don't _let him go_!"

Jack let him go. The thug clutched his throat as he scrambled away and picked up the other dropped gun. He leveled it at Jack's head.

_What the hell happens now, yeah? Two guns, two thugs, I'm not liking these odds!_ Rose glanced back and forth between the Doctor and Jack. There was silence; no gunshot echoed in the room. Rose let out a small sigh of relief that even though the leader was a bastard, at least he wasn't a liar. Still, no one moved. Rose had no idea what to do. One of the men on the floor groaned as consciousness returned. They were quickly loosing the advantage of numbers.

She looked back at the Doctor. He was staring right at her, like he was trying to tell her something without saying it. She blinked in confusion. He glanced down and she followed until she was looked at his right hand. He made a motion that didn't seem to refer to anything. He made it again; moving his thumb and then pressing it down on an invisible something in his hand. Clarity came suddenly. The sonic screwdriver, _of course_! Rose allowed the barest nod to show she understood. The Doctor glanced at Jack to make sure he'd seen the motion. Jack nodded too.

"We seem to be in something of a stale mate," the Doctor observed.

The leader laughed as the third man finally picked himself up off the floor. "Oh, this ain't a stale mate. See, we could just shoot you and then it'd be over, yeah? You got no advantage here, and no say. So shut up, sit down, and stop playing whatever game you're on about."

"Well, in that case," the Time Lord smiled, but it was not a nice smile. "I'll just go sit over there, shall I?" He pointed to the corner. "Be nice and quiet like."

The thug hesitated, as if he caught on that it was more trouble. Finally he nodded. "Yeah, just over there, all three of ye." They followed the command, sitting down against the wall.

Two of the men drew off to talk in whispers. One kept a gun pointed towards the three captives, but he wasn't being terribly diligent, thankfully. The Doctor gave a nod. Rose got her ears covered just in time as a high pitched noise filled the room. The three kidnappers immediately cowered in pain, one of them dropping the gun. The volume rose and even with her ears covered Rose couldn't help wincing at the pain of it. She felt Jack tug her arm and to followed him to the door, dodging the three men, and then they were outside, but the noise was following them. They rounded the corner of a building and Jack drew her to a halt. The noise stopped.

"Get in! Quit sightseeing!" the Doctor advised. In the silence Rose could hear a shout from behind the buildings. She stepped around Jack's arm and into the TARDIS. The two men followed her.

She heard the door click shut as it locked. A few seconds later she heard what she presumed to be a fist pounding on the outside door. The wood groaned in response, but held. After all, the Doctor had once told her that not even Genghis Kahn could get through that door.

"Well, that was a barrel of laughs," their driver was already thumbing the controls. "What did I say? Honestly, what was it, because clearly it was not 'don't wander off'."

"Sorry Doc, really, but we took a wrong turn down a side street and, well, they had us. I would have fought them off, but they had a gun to Rose's head. Didn't want to chance it, and I figured you'd show up to help, sooner or later."

"Thanks so much for your confidence," the Time Lord chided. "Lucky for you, I did. You both okay?"

Rose nodded, because really she was. They'd mostly gone for Jack. Jack nodded too, because he would never admit if he was in pain. The Doctor glanced closely at them both. "Ri-ight. Well, go get cleaned up, you're a mess you know, and then I will land us somewhere that not even the two of you can get into trouble. Fancy pancakes Rose?"

"Oh yeah! With real syrup," she warned.

"Is there another kind," he questioned with a smile.

"Not in my book," Jack added from the doorway. "Give me five!"

"Give me twenty. Thanks for the save, by the way. Got there just in time!" Rose slipped an arm around the Doctor.

He returned the hug. "Yeah, just glad I did. Go on, off with you or we'll never eat!" Rose smiled and dashed off towards her room.

The Doctor glanced up at the TARDIS' central column, listening to the sound of the universe as the ship spun through the vortex. "Very glad I did."

* * *


End file.
